Dear dairy! I want to tell you something

I read poetry of Alice Wyndham. That made me quite strong to express my feelings in words. The poetry says,

When time runs out and your heart needs to say so much more
but the heart that should hear it is gone now forever
and you are left with a raw nagging sore.

Then reach for your paper, your pen and your candle
and write though your heart it would burst.
No fears now restrain you; no judgment; no mock;
Write of your best, of your worst.

When your soul is then drained of its deepest regret
then holds your true paper to the candle's clear flame
that thought-laden smoke might reach to that heart
and ashes, a symbol of love, yet remain.

That’s why I think that this piece of writing may help me to overcome this ache. It is about when I was in school and I delighted to be the position holder in the class. And probably in that proudness I badly hurt someone. From that time this pain of mind is not allowing me to live a normal life. I find no way to get rid of this suffering. Everything I see is wrapped in black. It May be because of my veil of depression which I am wearing. I cannot see the reality of anything. I wish I could change the worst happening of my life. I could rewind the life and manage things as I wish it to be. I wander why that heartbreaking day came into my life. Why because of my foolishness a person was hurt? I wish I could not be the reason of someone’s wounds. Her tears shedding eyes inflamed my soul. And still my soul is burning in that fire. I wish I did not tell anything to the principal about our mathematics teacher. I wish I remained quiet. In that case she was not fired from the job and she lingered with us. I pray to Allah for a chance just to apologize for my mistake.